whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
