before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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