i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Too much gin, very little bucket
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
