There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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