Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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