I CAN MOONWALK!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
