His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
