We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Randomize
