sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
