Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I didn't notice because vodka
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
