This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
