Swine flu is the new snow day.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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