it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
