He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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