Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
