my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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