Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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