He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
