I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
