Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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