Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
