New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize