If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
