I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
