11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
