I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
