is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So much rum. So many feels.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
