I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
