Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
