i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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