R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
