More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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