We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
