We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
