Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
