bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize