i was born a porn star she said
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
