So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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