i was born a porn star she said
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
