new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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