I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize