Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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