but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize