Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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