The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
True strength comes from lack of pants
Floor bacon is actually really good
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
