then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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