It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
