she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize