Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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