last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize