I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
