She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
