porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
