I wish I only lived at night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
