just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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