she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
