Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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