Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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