i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
