When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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