actually, I'm a sock model
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
