the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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