And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
