wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
