Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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