she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
