You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
