I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize