He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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