I CAN MOONWALK!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
